Painful Past and a Grim Future
by Racholasj
Summary: Jean keeps having flashbacks about her old past before the Xavier Institute. Then, someone Jean wants to put behind her shows up at their doorstep. A painful memory guides Jean to her Destiny, and helps her fight for survival. [Jott] Rated T for language.


Here's a new one. I know, I should finish my others before I make a new one, but I have so many ideas! Review! This is AU.

* * *

12 year old Jean woke up. "Oh no...it's 7:30!" Jean Grey cried. She was dead. She got up immediately and showered and threw on the first pair of jeans and tee shirt she could find. She quickly ran a brush through her mid length hair and ran out to the front yard. The car was gone. Oh no. Oh no,no,no,no,no. She was in trouble. She quickly washed the dishes and swept the floor. She ran back to her room and made her bed. She dusted the house. 

She got out the steak's for them to thaw. 8 am. Her father would be coming home any minute. She checked everything she could to make sure it was perfect.

Her father walked in the door, beer bottle in hand. _Oh god, no!_

"Jean! You little bitch! You didn't get up on time this morning! You know your not allowed to sleep past 6:30!"

"I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to, I had trouble with my homework last nigh-" Jean started.

"I DON'T CARE IF YOU STAY UP TILL 5am, YOU HAD BETTER BE UP ON TIME!" He grabbed her arm and pushed her against the wall.

_**I wait for the postman to bring me a letter;  
**__**and I wait for the good lord to make me feel better.**_

"Daddy, I'm sorry! I got most of my chores done though! The dishes are clean, the beds are made, the house is dusted, and the floor is swept!"

"YOU DIDN'T GET UP ON TIME TO MOW THE LAWN, CHANGE THE DAMN CAT'S LITTER, OR WASH MY CAR!" he yelled at her, spitting on her as he did. He shoved her harder against the wall.

_**And I carry the wait of the world on my shoulders;  
**__**Family in crisis that only grows older.**_

"Prometheus' litter is fine dadd-"Jean continued again.

"I CAN SMELL IT! I WANT IT CLEANED! YOUR NOT DOING JOB YOU LITTLE BITCH! WHAT GOOD ARE YOU IF YOU CAN'T EVEN DO YOUR CHORES! YOUR WORTHLESS. YOU'LL NEVER BE GOOD FOR ANYTHING! NO ONE WOULD WANT YOU, THAT'S WHY YOUR GOD DAMNED MOTHER ADOPTED YOU. YOU WERE A MISTAKE, AND NOW THAT SHE'S GONE, I'M STUCK WITH YOU!" Her father blared at her. Jean began to cry_. I'm not adopted! she thought, No!_

"I'm not adopted!" Jean screamed.

Her father had had enough. He smacked her in the face then threw her into the opposite wall.

_**Why'd you have to go?  
**__**Why'd you have to go?  
**__**Why'd you have to go!**_

"Don't cry you little cunt! Your such a baby! Look at you! You were too adopted, your real mother and father never wanted you, so my darling wife took you in because she was a kind woman! Your not good at anything! I should take you to the forest and put you out of your misery. The only thing that could love you is Prometheus, and Prometheus is a stupid cat that know's nothing! God doesn't even love you!

_**Daughter to father,  
**__**Daughter to father,  
**__**I am broken, but I am hoping.**_

The tears poored from Jean. _What did I do that made me so worthless? _Jean asked. _Ever since my mother died he blames me for it. He hates me. He always has. When I was six and I won most valuable soccer player, he said it was a stupid sport that only people who have no talent play. I hate myself, but more so I hate him! I'm running away._

_**Daughter to father,  
**__**Daughter to Father  
**__**I am crying; a part of me's dying  
**__**and these are, these are, the confessions of a broken heart.**_

Her father puched her in the face. He grabbed his now empty beer bottle and beat her with it.

"STOP CRYING! YOUR LUCKY I DIDN'T DO MORE! YOUR MOTHER ALWAYS SPOILED YOU! SHE LOVED YOU BECAUSE YOU WERE HER DAUGHTER AND SHE HAD TO, NOT BECAUSE SHE LOVED YOU FOR YOU. WHO WOULD?"

_**And I wear all your old clothes, your polo sweater.  
**__**And I dream of another you, one who would never,  
**__**never leave me alone to pick up the pieces.  
**__**Daddy to hold me, that's what I needed.**_

Jean screamed and she cried._ Anything, Anyone, get me out of here! She begged, she pleaded, but know one answered._

Finally her father stopped pounding on her. Jean had cuts on her wrists and arms. Her eye was black, and her ribs sore. She whimpered. Her father layed in the recliner. He fell asleep after finishing another beer. Jean quietly sneaked down into the basement where she slept. She grabbed her two dufflebag and stuffed as many pairs of jeans and shirts as she could into two duffle bags.She grabbed her picture book, her two necklaces, and a notebook and pen. She was never coming back.

_**So why'd you have to go?  
**__**Why'd you have to go?  
**__**Why'd you have to go!**_

Jean cried as she gathered all of her valuables. There was a small window in the basement to which she lived. Should she escape that way? _BANG!_

Her father had woken back up. She decided the window it was. She used her elbow to break the glass. She climbed through with her eyes closed.

_**Daughter to father,  
**__**Daughter to father;  
**__**I don't know you,  
**__**but I still want to...**_

She made it to the back yard. She ran. She ran as far as her feet would carry her. Finally, she reached an alley. She sat her stuff down and began to cry.

_**Daughter to father;  
**__**Daughter to father.  
**__**Tell me the truth,  
**__**did you ever love me?**_

_**Cuz these are,  
**__**these are the confessions  
**__**of a broken heart...  
**__**Of a broken heart**_

She was in such pain and misery she couldn't bare it. Her anger, her sadness, her pain all put a strain on her, all in her mind. She felt pressure and tension. Finally, Jean doubled over and grabbed her head from all the pain. Her duffle bag began to lift off the ground.

"What the?" Jean asked, startled at what was happening. "Ow, my head!" she squeezed her temples to make the pain go away, finally she passed out.

* * *

That was six years ago. Six years ago when she had discovered her powers and had escaped from the hell that was her house. 

Jean shrugged off the memory. It didn't matter now. She had agreat life. She had the Xavier Institute, her home full of people she loved and who loved her in return. Her home that had people who where just like her; a mutant, but mroe importantly, a home that had Scott Summers in it.

She had met Scott not to long after that incdent. She remembered it so well and clear in her mind.

_After she had passed out in the alley, she had awoken to find it was night. This wasn't good, to be a 12_ _year old girl outside at night in New York. Jean immediately went to look for cover, in case of bad whether or just bad people. She wondered the streets for what seemed like hours. She had finally found a small building that appeared abandoned. Jean wondered into it, silently praying to God that it was a safe place to stay for the night. Inside, it was dark and smelled of rat pee and whatever else. The otherside of the room was cleaner, so she walked to a corner. Pulling her hair back into a pony, she scrunched up into the corner, feeling the draft come in through a broken window. Knowing it probably wouldn't matter, Jean got up and locked the fragile door; just to feel a sense of security. Once in the corner, Jean cried. What was happening to her? why had her duffle bags lifted off the ground like that? Surely it wasn't normal! she **was** a freak!_

_Jean had lived in that building for weeks. She had packed enough clothes to pile on her at night to keep her warm. The daytime was weird for her. She couldn't go to school, for fear her father would be looking for her there, even though she wanted to tell her friends. She wanted to ask them to help her, or just to hug her. Mostly, she wanted someone to tell her she wasn't worthless. _

_During lunch however, Jean couldn't stray away form the school for too long. Hiding and staying clear to insure she wasn't spotted, She saw her friends eating outside, her spot unreplaced.They were chatting away, enjoying the luxery of food. Jean in her grudgy clothes and in desperate need of a bath, decided against walking up there and speaking. Besides, a teacher would have saw her and reported it to her father. By now, her father would have called the police saying his horrid little daughter had run away from her happy home to make him sick with worry and scared for her life. Bullshit._

_However, when her friend Annie walked by close enough for her to speak to her, Jean nabbed at the chance._

_"Annie!" Jean whispered fiercly. Annie turned to see who was calling her._

_"Over here! behind the trees! It's me Jean!" she said. _

_"Jean? Your okay? Oh my god, I was so worried about you! we all heard you ran away! how are you?" Annie asked as she slowly turned the corner as to not draw attention. Once she did turn the corner however, she saw the answer to her question._

_"You look horrible!" Annie said._

_"I know. Annie, you can't tell my father you saw me. You can't tell anyone!" Jean said._

_"B-but why? your father is worried sick and so is everyone else!"_

_"You can't! He'll..."_

_"He'll what?"_

_"He'll beat me so bad. That's why I ran away. He beats me so much. That's why i'm always sore."_

_"You mean all those 'accidents' you have aren't accidents?" Annie exclaimed. "Why didn't you tell me?"  
_

_"I didn't want anyone to know. Someone would find out and my dad would be in jail and I'd be in an orphanage somewhere. Annie, I can't talk long, he could come looking for me. Has he?"_

_"Yeah actually, he has. He was here the other day snooping around the grounds around 10:00."_

_"I thought he would. Okay, listen, I need food, really bad. I'm starving. I managaed to get some, but it's not much at all. I'm gonna die if I don't get food. Can you help me?" _

_"Yeah, I can, but Jean, where are you staying? Where are you gonna go? You can't live like this!"_

_"I's not permedent..just until I figure things out. I'll make sure to keep in contact, but no adults can be in on this! When can you get me the food? I'm so hungry.." Jean said tears welling up in her eyes._

_"Right now!" Annie said. "Be right back!" _

_"What? wait-no!" Jean said, but Annie was off getting seconds from the lunch room. She came back with her backpack, and opened it. There was a bunch of food in a plastic bag._

_"You bought all that for me? Your lunch account must be gone!" _

_"Jean, it's the least I could do." Annie said sympethetically. "Come over to my house tonight at 9:30, i'll give you more. You know where my window is right? I'll give it to you through there so you won't be seen?"_

_"Annie, your my best friend. Thank you so much!" Jean said as tears fell and she hugged her friend._

_"Gotta go!" Jean said running off with a giant plastic bag full of food._

Jean again strugged off the memory. What Annie had done for her-she'd never forget. It was ashame that only days later...

Jean wiped tears from her eyes. She did _not_ want to think about this, but for some reason she couldn't out it in the back of her mind.

_Jean had been on her way to visit Annie at school for the third time in ten days. Annie had made her promise to come back for more food to ensure Jean was okay. Jean agreed. Annie had been smugling her so much food, by the time she came by the second time she had a heavy load full of bread, gallons of milk, cheese, peanut butter, bananas, apples,bottled water, and a bunch of lunch meat. Jean had no idea how in the world Annie was getting this without anyone noticing, but Jean was extremely greatful._

_Jean went to spy on her at lunch to surprise her by saying hello. Jean only talked to Annie. She wasn't sure about trusting her other friends. Annie she could count on. _

_When she looked for Annie's usual spot, it was empty. Jean figured she was sick, so she'd go visit her at the house later that night. When she did, her room light was off except the blare of the television. Jean peeked in the window to see what was going on. What she saw scarred her for life._

_On the television set was a picture of a 12 year old girl with golden blonde hair. She had blood all over her, and her face was contorted in pain. Cameras showed her being rushed into a ambulence._

_Jean didn't bother for the rest. She ran to the St.Marks hospital as fast as she could. It was across town, so she'd be awhile, but she'd run across the earth from Annie. Amazingly enough, her soccer skills had gotten her there faster than most 12 year olds would. In a half an hour, Jean had crossed majority of town._

_Jean slipped into the hospital. No one noticed her. She had been cleaner than she was the other day, from washing up with some water from a gas station bathroom. She followed her instincts. Not knowing where Annie was, but sensing it. Eventually she found herself on the second floor in front of a hospital room. Jean looked around to see if anyone was there. Further down the hall she saw Annie's parents talking to the doctor, looking horribly tired and tears pouring from her mom's face. Jean dared to enter the room. This was her only shot at visiting her friend._

_Lucky enough, no one was in there but Annie. Hooked up to monitors and bandaged, her friend looked traumatized. Amazingly enough, she was concious._

_"Annie!" Jean cried to her friend._

_"Jean? What are you doing here! How'd you know where I was?"_

_"I don't know...I just followed my instinct. Annie, what happened?" Jean said, beginnign to cry._

_"I was sititng outside watching this little kid play on the sidewalk. His ball flew away and-" annie paused to let out a groan of pain._

_"Are you okay? You want me to get someone?"_

_"No, Jean. You'll be caught."_

_"My friend's life is more important than my own." Jean said looking at her beloved friend._

_"Thanks Jean, but I need to tell you what happened. -His ball went into the road, and he walked out to get it. A second after he touched the ball, a drunk driver came zig-zagging on the street.I ran out to get the kid out of the way, and succeeded, only I was hit."_

_"Annie! that's awful!" Jean cried. She held her best friends hand._

_"Jean..."_

_"Yes Annie?"_

_"I love you." she said softly, and closed her eyes. Only Annie never said it, she had thought it. She hadn't enough strength to say any of the words to Jean. Her last thoughts as her heart monitor went dead was "I love you" before all went dark._

_Jean had felt it, and sprang upright immediately, gasping for air. "Annie? Annie! Annie! " She called shaking her friend. The darkness in her mind was overwhelming, the coldness that was there. She had felt as though apart of herself had just died. "I love you." echoed in her head and so did a lot of other words Jean had never heard come from Annie's mouth, but Annie had thought before she had passed on. As though Annie knew Jean could hear her thoughts, annie had thought them, to weak to say them. In her mind Annie had told her about the accident, not physically. Jean didn't know it then, all she knew was her friend had left and she had felt the door slam shut on her soul. She knew that she had just felt Annie die in her mind. There bond was shut down, the bond of two childhood friends torn away._

_Jean got up and buzzed the nurse before escaping from the hospital. As fast as her feet could carry her, Jean ran to her place and shut the door, not bothering to lock it. There was no sense in it. Her friend was gone, and any sense of security she had ever felt had went with her. She was all alone in this world._

Jean had cried herself to sleep that night and every other night for three more nights. She'd wake up to find things moved from where they were when she was asleep. One time, her duffle bag had been over her head and when she had awoken it had fell on her. Jean didn't understand what was happening to her, but she felt a surge run through her head.

The second day after Annie's death, she had risked going outside. She heard people in the street talking, but she had also heard _there thoughts_. Jean had realized this after over hearing a conversation between to people. She ehard there words, but also what they really had meant. Jean ran that day and passed out in her corner.

The third day was the one person who would take her away to a peaceful life.

Professor Xavier.

She had joined him n an instant, wanting control over what was happening to her and wanting a home. She didn't know him, but in her heart she knew she could trust him. When he had knocked on the old fragile door of her building and came in in his wheel chair, she had seen his kind face and knew he had a kind heart to match. Amazingly enough, she also didn't hear his thoughts when he was around.

He had explained to her that she _was_ normal, and that he too had powers like her. He was a telepath, just like her. He could read minds and control peoples thoughts. Jean didn't know that she could do thesecond part, but in given time she learned how.

And he also explained she was a telekenetic as well, which is why she moved things without touching them. All of it was because of her mind.

He had taken her in. Xavier had talked to the police abuot the runaway child, tasing custody. Her father was on trial. Jean didn't care what had happened to him, she was free.

Not to long after that, she met the boy who would change her life. Scott Summers.

Scott had had a bad childhood as well, with his parents accident. Unlike Jean, there was no way to teach him to control his powers. When his parents had died in a plane crash, him and his brother Alex had barely escaped, sharing one parachute. Scott somewhere along the line hit his head, which later on had an effect on why he couldn't control his powers. Professor had a doctor find a material that could hold them back, and the doctor succeeded in finding a strong substance called Ruby Quartz.

Luckily for Scott, he was taken out of he orphanage by the Professor only a short time after he had recruited Jean. Scott and Jean became friends instantly. Scott did have some luck though; his parents had him money in a bank account. Scott was extremely wealthy after inheriting it all, for everyone thought Alex Summers to be dead, but Scott only used it for things he needed. Alex did turn up only recently. Scott had found he had been taken to a different orphange and had been adopted by a few parents in Hawaii.

Scott Summers was a strong boy. He had first come scared and alarmed, but when he found out he was only the second student, he came more relaxed. Jean and Scott grew up togehter, playing outside in the courtyard and swimming on hot summer days. When Jean had nightmares and her teleknesis got out of hand, Scott always came rushing to help her, always the first to tell Professor X , Logan, or Storm that Jean needed help.

And when Jean's telepathy acted up, Scott was the first to help her through it, then and now. The most recent incident Jean claimed to not remember, only she did remember some of it. She remembered hearing Rogue's thoughts in her own head when Rogue had touched her.

Some of Rogue's thoughts hurt her to hear. Not ebcause they were about ehr, but because of how lowly Rogue thought of herself.

Another thing Jean remembered was loud noises, casued by her Telekensis throwing things and creasted disaster or the infirmary. She knew the X-men were trying to reach her, but she couldn't reach them, because in the depths of her mind, she was lost.

But the thing she remembers most is the voice.

Not Scott's voice, but a female's voice. A voice that sent shivers down her spine whenever she thought about it. A voice that scared her, yet a voice that she wanted to hear more of.

This voice had spoken to her briefly during the time Jean had lost control.

_Jean, do you hear me? Come this way Jean. Listen to my voice. Do you feel it? Do you feel the warmth running through you? Take control of it, make it yours. Make it all yours Jean. I can help you Jean, I can make you stronger. Do you feel it? Do you feel the fire? Take it. Take it!_

That's the last thing the voice had said, becuase it had been interuptted by a munch more welcomed voice. It had been Scott calling to her. She couldn't remember what he had said, but she remember how she felt when he said it. She felt like she was at home, no longer lost.

Jean shrugged of her thoughts again. This wasn't a time for thinking about bad memories, it was a time to relax. Summer was here and college wouldn't start for three and a half months. She needed this to relax, after the hetic school year with Duncan and all her former 'friends'. Teryn had ran scared of her ever since they found out she was a mutant. Whatever, Jean didn't need people like them. She already had a bad past, she didn't need them to make a bad future.

Only no one knew about her past except Scott, Professor X, Logan, and Storm, and that's the way it would stay until she was ready.


End file.
